How it started

I figure I will be as concise as possible. I was molested by my step father. He was a pastor. There were usually 2 of them. They always threatened me and often gave me shiny new belt buckles because they were head of the boy scouts. I don't have proof but I'm sure I was not the only kid that was molested. I think the entire boy scout leader was the open door they needed. What is unfortunate is my real father lived about 45 mins away but never took the opportunity to get to know me. I finally expressed all of this to my family just months ago. I'm sure my mother wanted to dive off a bridge. Something I did not know is my step father attempted to molest my middle brother. Wanted to get in the bath tub with him and he spear headed a prostitute to have sex with him at the age of 11. This still haunts my brother today. Anyway..life seemed pretty tough after being abandoned by your paternal father and molested by the your step father. Life was not bad for many many years but it all erupted when my step father died. Seeing how I was the oldest, I asked that they cremate him. This totally blew my family away. After all of this...all kinds of dreams began and I sought many avenues to relieve stress. Drugs, and women mostly. I sought counseling and all the right stuff but there was too much inside to deal with. I could not be faithful in my marriage. This was another struggle at this point. I ran this course for several years. Doing good, then doing bad. Not until my accident that I decided it was time to change. READ..where are you now for more details.