My Demons 2

I got a phone call from my mother Monday night stating that my step-father passed away. My first thought was why is she calling me to inform me of his death, then it hit me that I had to go home and tell my oldest son that was close to the man that abuse me that he died. Now this is where my true faith and strength come into play. I sat my feelings aside to be there for my son, because he took it very hard, my son is more like his mother. Despite everything that this man did to me, my son over looked his fawls and became a son to him. Now that I am a adult, I feet sorry for him, my mother and father, because they will never get the chance to know the woman that I am. They will never know the strengths that I have in me or the amount of love that I have in my heart. I thank God everyday for Geraldine Jones a woman of many strengths and powerful world that has been built on love. This woman became a mother figured and showed me how to love myself and other. I remember the day I met her and talked about what I went through and she left my head and said "Now you listen to me, God has brought u a mighty long way and he will never lead you astray. No matter what you go through he will always hold you close and love you, all I ask is you love yourself and forgive those that cause me any knid of harm". From that day on I became Geraldine Jones and this is what I do everyday when I'm being there for my son.

You are a big person for being the person that you were. WHen my abuser died, I did not shed a tear or go to his funeral. ANd even though people do not know about the abuse, they judged me for not going to a funeral for a man who "did so much to help me"! Karma got em' because someone killed him in a hotel room. I hated to see him go out like that, and no one deserves to be murdered but he hurt more people than me I am sure..Were u ever afraid that the man who abused u would hurt your son?

Yes, I was afraid that he or anybody would hurt my children, but my son is the type of person that will fight u no matter who you are and he has always been a fighter and survivor, even at a young age. I remember the day that my mother pushed me down 13 flights of metal steps and i was pregnant with my son and the boy fought to be here. I worked very hard to show my children how to survivor in the world, I never sheltered them from anything good or bad, because I wanted them to know what to expect of the world. I faced my demons along time ago and they cant hurt me anymore, not him/my mom or dad, no more, they have to live with what they done to me and answer for it when the times comes.